I don’t know when the tectonic shift in my thinking happened: Hindsight being 20/20, I can see clearly that the time and energy I spent on caring was dumb.
Perhaps it happened the 1001st time that someone called me a “dumb slut” or “annoying bitch” or “ugly, fat, troll” on one of the columns I wrote? When an anon “fan” from the Internet showed up in my real life and threatened me? When Encyclopedia Dramatic posted a whole page dragging me in the ugliest of ways? Or, was it when my daughter died and I realized how unreal what people say on the Internet is compared to the heartache and struggle of real life? Or, maybe, at some point I just became tired of trying to fix the world by battling one troll at a time?
Whatever happened, somewhere along the way, I learned to truly and honestly give no fucks. About online drama. Offline drama. Harsh and ugly souled people, in general. I have no energy to go in with witty verbal guns blazing to school some newb. I just don’t. I give zero fucks.
At one point, I had good reason to be bothered by some of the things said to or about me online. That time passed slowly, much slower than it should for a functioning adult. The energy and ire I wasted on engaging with these bumblefucks is monumental. And, as a 45-year old tired person, I wish I had that energy back.
There is something totally freeing about the moment you decide to stop wasting energy and time on stupid shit. It’s like boulders are lifted off your shoulders and you wake up out of a fog to see what things are out in front of you without clouds in your eyes.Continue reading